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Showing posts with the label Inspiration

Making Genuine Friends

Friendship cannot be underestimated especially when you bumped in to someone who does not collect friends just to say they have lots of friends. There are people who know what is an acquaintance from what is a real friend in this world given that “friend” became an abused word just as artists are well aware that among other media, there stands out an original oil painting. There are people who are born for friends and are born to be a friend. As young people, we may be attached too much with our family and we know friends as someone to just simply play with. But as we grow older, attachment to friends become deeper. They are the ones to know our angst in life and we absorb their predicaments in life. In fact, life becomes lighter no matter how difficult a situation is when you are with friends. You want them stay overnight in your house. You invite them for a few drinks. You have a good laugh with them, cry with them and do some crazy moments with them. Without your real friends around

Ways to Overcome Difficulties when Relating with Other People

Do you find it hard to relate to people? Perhaps you always feel that you are different in some way or that you aren't quite on the same page as many of the people around you. Some people just naturally blend into whatever group of people they are presented with whilst others have a more restricted comfort zone. What comes naturally to some may seem to be an impossibility for others to even contemplate let alone to bring to fruition. When you don't feel comfortable your attention and focus tends to be internalized. It becomes difficult to turn your attention fully towards what other people are saying or doing. Rather, you find your mind sifting through myriad thoughts relating to how uncomfortable you are feeling. This in itself makes it even more difficult to relate to others and your surroundings, as you aren't fully "there". You are detached instead of engaged. You are thinking instead of listening. This makes everything feel more unnatural still and a cycle of

A Lonely Heart

A lonely heart, filled with sadness, once was so full of life. Two hearts were beating as one for such a long time. Time was their friend, adventure was their middle name. Sitting curled up in each other’s arms they’ve watched many sunsets. The seagulls flying overhead made them smile as they watched them fly off in the distance. The sounds of the waves coming into shore took away all thoughts, leaving them feeling peaceful. This was only one day of a life that was so full of wonderful memories. This is not a sad story, but one of lessons. You see, there are people in the world who have never loved, they are afraid of love. Either they loved and lost, or didn’t know where or how to start. Life goes on; some days are easier than others. If you have experienced the loss of a mate, you can carry on. One way to show your respect is to carry one of their good qualities or traits with you. If a person's passionis gardening, learn something from them and carry it forth, either for yoursel

Can Our Friends Keep Us Stuck?

When one thinks about the people in their life who support them, their friends will typically come to mind. Ideally, these will be the people who one can turn to for advice, encouragement and acceptance for instance. So one is able to be themselves around them and doesn’t feel the need to wear a mask or to put on an act. Who they are is enough and one will also have the same outlook towards their friends. And while they are accepted for who they, there will also feel that they can grow and continue to develop without being rejected. This is not necessarily going to be something that will be vocalised, but one will sense it and come to know that it is so through how their friend or friends behave. Connection In the beginning of a friendship, one is going to see the other person as being completely separate and as another person. A certain amount of comfort and trust will need to form before one sees them in another way. And this can happen almost instantly or it can take a while to deve

Is Being Responsive To Another Person’s Self-Disclosure An Important Part Of A Relationship?

When one feels close to someone, there are likely to be a number of reasons why. One may know what these reasons are, or it may take them a while to realise why they feel the way they do. The connection they feel with the other person is likely to have built up over time. This is not to say that one can’t feel close to another without too much time having passed; as one can feel close to another without having known them for months or even years. What this shows is that is not simply a matter of how long one has known someone, it is also comes down to how the other person responds to them. If it wasn’t for these responses, one wouldn’t see the other person in the same way and this would have effect on their relationship. A Process Therefore, it will be important for them to be consistent with their responses; as it is not something they can do once and that’s the end of it. There may be times when they are unable to respond how one wants them to respond, but this will be the exception

Ways to Develop Empathy

Developing empathy is possible only if we are willing to at least temporarily or occasionally let go of separate egocentric self-awareness, and the incessant mind chatter and narcissistic emotional dramas that that involves, so that we are not distracted from non-dualistically tuning into the experiential states and living energy presence of another person, with deeply invested heartfelt caring feeling as well as with our undivided fully invested conscious attention. At a mostly subconscious or subliminal level of the psyche, the ego fears that it will be permanently forgotten and thereby lost as our separate sense of individual self-awareness if we invest deeply, fully in empathic communion with another individual, reserving no conscious attention and heartfelt feeling energy for separate self-awareness and self-seeking motives. However, the truth is that if we are willing to occasionally let go of separate self-awareness by deeply investingour conscious attention and heartfelt feelin

Ways to Overcome a Co-dependent Relationship

Since co-dependent relationships are not healthy for you, why is it so hard to extricate yourself? Why is it so difficult to get out of a situation that is harmful to you? Well, we all hate change, even if that change may be for the better. And if you’ve been in a co-dependentrelationship your whole life, it is all you know. It’s what you’re comfortable with. You might believe that you are not worthy of a better relationship, so you’ll stay with a partner who devalues you. And you might fear being alone. It’s hard to go through a breakup when the result is that you’ll be on your own. But those are fears you must conquer if you want to stop sabotaging yourself with co-dependentrelationships. Break the co-dependency cycle. If you are in a co-dependent relationship, you may well have grown up in a household where one or more parent suffers from some kind of addictionor other disorder, such as narcissism. And your parents may have also grown up in a dysfunctional household. And on and on.

Can Toxic Shame Make you Feel Lonely?

While someone can be by themselves, it doesn't mean they will end up feeling lonely. This is similar how someone can be around others and still end up feeling as though they are by themselves. What this shows is that it can all depend on how one feels in their own company, and how they feel in the company of the people they are with. The ideal with be for one to be able to be by themselves and around others without feeling as though they are cut-off. An Important Need Human beings are interdependent, and this means that they need others. For instance, one's sense of self it not something that exits in isolation; it only exists through the mirroring that other people give them. If they no longer receive this external feedback, their sense of self would begin to disappear, and they would probably end up going mad. This doesn't mean that one needs to be around others all the time; it means that they will need to spend time with them. True Self But if one is unable to be themse

Why we should Expect Our Friends To Accept Us If We Change

When one has a friend who they connect with, it is going to come down to the fact that they enjoy being in their company. This doesn’t mean that they are ‘perfect’, but they are going to be ‘perfect’ for them. If one was to take a closer look at why they enjoy being in their company, they may start to think about how they have certain things in common and they may have a similar outlook when it comes to different parts of their life. In this sense, what they have in common plays an important role in their friendship. However, this doesn’t mean that they always agree or that they enjoy doing the same things. So while there are likely to be differences; what they have in common will be part of what allows them to maintain the connection they have. Childhood Friends One may have maintained a close relationship to people they have known since their childhood years, and they may say that old friends are the best friends. As a result of this, not only will they have things in common and a si

Signs You're Trying too Hard to Please Everyone

People-pleasing isn't inherently a bad thing. In fact, it's healthy to want to please your family or your supervisors. But there are times when your desire to please others can become problematic. Here are seven signs that your desire to be a people-pleaser has become unhealthy: 1. You Can't Say No Saying yes to everyone's requests means you're saying no to something else. Whether your willingness to volunteer for a committee takes time away from your family, or your inability to say no to a neighbor's dinner invitation means you won't have time to go to the gym, saying yes to everything has consequences. Tip:  If yes has become your automatic answer, start saying, "I'll have to look into that and get back to you." Then, take a few minutes to consider what you want to do before you make any promises. 2. You Struggle to Make Decisions If you're used to answering questions based on what you think people want to hear, you

How Sharing Is An Important Part of Friendship

Ever since human beings first delved into caves for shelter, from both animals and the weather, sharing has been a part of life as we know it. As far back as these cavemen, sharing was used to both promote friendship, and also occasionally to promote survival of the group. Keep in mind however, that this was back when food was scarce, and involved a large expenditure of energy to acquire, such that should one tribe member have a large amount of food, he could be expected, as a member of the tribe, to share this food with the other members, and in this way prevent the tribe from dying of starvation. Sharing was also used as a way to secure a mate, by sharing his or her food with another, singular tribe member, that same tribe member would feel indebted towards the provider, while also seeing him as powerful, because not only does he hold the food, he also has the will to share it. Nowadays though, although in first world countries food is no longer an issue, and does not play such la

What Makes a Good Relationship in the Family?

People change over time. People sometimes say that their partner has changed. 'They're not the person I met all those years ago!' No - they're not. Chances are both partners have changed in many ways – in their interests, confidence and attitudes. Most couples go through a number of stages in their relationships: In love ... This is a time when couples wear rose-tinted glasses,and idealise each other. They can't spend enough time together,and make light of any differences between them.Love will conquer all. Recognising differences ... Eventually couples move on to the next stage of their relationship. This can happen early in their relationship or sometimes not for a year or two. Couples begin to be aware of the differences between them,and become more realistic in their view of each other. Arguments that are

Learn How You Can Control Your Anger Right Now

Life may not always seem fair. Oftentimes, you feel angry and frustrated, then later on wish you could have some degree of control over your emotions. This is quite understandable. Of all human feelings, anger is probably the most difficult emotion to restrain. Being able to manage it well is the real mark of an effective person. So, what are ways to manage anger? Here are some tips: 1. Breathe. Anger is an abstract term used to encapsulate that feeling of rage and passionate displeasure over something, someone, or maybe even yourself. It may feel so overwhelming that you normally seek ways to release it. You imagine yourself bursting into pieces if you fail to do so. However, simply releasing it and exploding in fury often times result to a mess - leaving a trail of hurt feelings, unkind words, and damaged

What it takes to succeed

The very first thing you need to become successful with your internet business is desire. If you didn't want to take on a business of your own (many do this from home), you would not do all it entails. The Second thing you must have is determination. Determination is most important, because you must always be resolved to 'stay the course' until your desire is satisfied. Is that all? No, the above are just the start. If you are like most, you have seen the advertisements about how so and so made millions or hundreds of thousands of dollars in a very short time, selling such and such a program, and using simple steps. You have also, signed up for several of them but found you end up doing most of the work with little reward. What you should have done when you saw the advertisement is to have grabbed your checkbook and

Critical Keys To Success

Having studied successful people in all walks of life -- in business, sport, the arts, science, politics, and other fields -- it seems clear to me that successful people share a very similar mindset. In fact, this "success mindset" has 7 critical elements or keys that virtually propel such people to achieving the loftiest of goals. It follows that if YOU absorb and harness these 7 key qualities, you too will accomplish success in your endeavour. And fortunately, these success factors aren't secret or exclusive -- they are latent qualities you already have within. You just need to harness them in pursuit of your current goal! So what are these 7 critical keys to achieving success? Let's discuss each one in turn. 1. Commitment Commitment is about deciding exactly what you want and being willing to do whatever it takes to

Making Time For The Family

When you first begin your business, everything is fine and dandy. It's like bringing home the new baby from the hospital. Everyone visits to see the new baby. Everyone thinks the baby is cute and wants to hold it. Everyone "oohs" and "aahs". After a few months though, the newness wears off. Now it's time to get down to raising this new baby and preparing him or her to be successful for their role in life. A new business suffers about the same type of beginning. You talk the decision over with your family and involve them in hearing your initial business plans. Everyone gets excited and tells you to "go for it." Everyone agrees to help out and the whole house is buzzing about with visions of big bank deposits dancing in their heads. After a few months though, the newness wears off. Since you probably haven't made any money, family members may grow tired and discouraged. They begin degrading your motives for opening the business i

Letting Go

Do you feel less than you'd like to? Less happy, less confident, less "everything" than others? Sometimes your head seems just above the water even though the rope you're holding is tight in your hands. Perhaps you're holding on when you should be letting go. Letting go can be one of the most difficult things we ever have to do. It can also be one of the most liberating. Opening your hand to let the butterfly fly away - that jewel-like creature we wish we could hold forever - means its cycle of life can continue, uninterrupted. The reward? Jewels returned to us tenfold year after year as we walk through a garden. Some of my darkest times involve holding on to things. Past mistakes which I refused to let fade from the "Open" file in my memory. The job I chose to leave behind in which I could have achieved so much more. The child who stayed in my body for just a few months before dying. People who have hurt me and people I've hurt. S

Ways To Attract Loyalty

The Top 10 Ways to Attract Loyalty Loyalty is valued and appreciated by most, but often hard to come by. Below are some suggestions as to how to attract loyal individuals into your life. Notice that many of the suggestions involve your own behavior. 1. Define what it means to you. Loyalty means different things to different people. Determine what it means to you. What does it look like? How does it make you feel? Only then can you truly recognize it and welcome it into your life. 2. Model the behavior that you expect from others. If you practice loyalty and make it a part of your value system, you will easily recognize it in others. Those are the individuals you'll be attracted to. 3. Be true to yourself. Spend time getting to know yourself, taking care of yourself, and standing up for yourself. If you are loyal to YOU - others will be, too. 4. Speak up! If loyalty is what you value, educate those around you. Let them know what is important to you. 5.

Ten Reasons To Have A Balanced Life

The Top 10 Reasons to Have a Balanced Life 1. Balance is discipline. Balance encourages us to look at all areas of our life. Discipline comes when we consistently reflect on those areas and make the proper adjustments. 2. Balance prevents obsession. At times we may focus too heavily on one area that needs attention. Then other areas suffer because we're obsessing. If we strive for balance by looking at the big picture - it's harder to obsess. 3. Balance creates internal harmony. When our life is balanced, we feel in sync with the Universe. It's a satisfied feeling and a sense of "letting go." 4. Balance offers a sense of accomplishment. When we are in harmony and life is flowing easily, we feel good about ourselves, know that we've done well and accomplished something wonderful. 5. Balance puts us at peace. When we are balanced, we feel at peace with ourselves and with the Universe. There is a calming, euphoric effect to being bala

Top Ten Reasons To Let Go

The Top 10 Reasons To Let Go We tend to control or try to hold on to so many issues, people, and situations in our life. Many times we have absolutely no true control over these things or the outcome of situations. Below are ten reasons why we should let go. 1. You will be much lighter A tremendous weight will be lifted when you stop