Vital Ways to Be Your BEST In Your Relationships

We often strive to create healthy and satisfying relationships. But sometimes, despite how much we may try, we're unable to do so. 

When this happens, here are four things we can do to bring our best selves to our
relationships, and in turn, bring about the positive change we seek.

Get to Know Yourself. To be your best self in your personal relationships you need to
develop your awareness of yourself. 

What do you value? 

What do you dream of? 

What are your strengths? 

Where are the skills you want to exhibit? 

 
When we ask ourselves these kinds of questions we grow our awareness of
ourselves and we can use that awareness to create relationships that are beneficial for everyone involved. 

Sometimes our personal relationships
hit a rough patch. When this happens, your awareness will clue you into
how you might be contributing to the difficulty at hand and whether or
not that relationship should be maintained. 

Love Yourself . Learning to
love yourself is such an important step towards creating healthy
relationships. It's cliché but true - to truly love someone else, you
have to love yourself first. This is because we're unable treat someone
better than we treat ourselves.

Our limits in loving others
comes from our inability to love ourselves. Over the course of our
relationships, these limits inevitably come to light. 

 We may compensate
for our inabilities by giving more to others than we have - or have
allowed ourselves - to receive. Yet, this can set us up for difficulty.

If we're not loving ourselves then we're likely looking for someone else
to give us that sense of being loved. This can be the starting point
for lots of problems like dependency, fear of abandonment, and fear of intimacyTo really love ourselves, we need to see the unique value and intrinsic beauty
of who we are without any externally imposed definitions. 

To begin to do this, take the time to tell yourself all the things that you like
about yourself. And do it often.Clear Your History Part of showing up as our best selves is to be in the present moment
as much as possible.

This means that our previous experiences need to be left where they belong - in the past. To do this, people typically undergo a process wherein they remember the past, understand how it effected them and then disentangle themselves from it.There are
a number of different tools that people can use to clear themselves of aspects of their past that no longer serve them. For example, there is EFT, Access Consciousness, energy work, Core Energetics and the list goes on. If you're wanting to create a different baseline for yourself, it's helpful to find a method that you can use to continually reinforce
your new way of being.

To clear your history, try on a few
methods that you sense would be a good fit. Then keep an open mind while
you see if they're effective for you. It takes a little while to clear your past from your present, so give this process some time. As you do this your awareness will increase and old feelings might come to the surface.

When in a relationship, sometimes it's helpful to let the other person know when something from your past has been activated and
communicate what you need when this happens. 

Own Your Stuff Nothing makes a relationship stronger than integrity. The biggest gift you can give yourself is know and own your contributions to your
relationships - both in the positive and in the negative.When things get difficult in a relationship, look for the ways that you've
contributed to the problem. Simply ask yourself: "is there anything that
I would have done better or differently if I had remained in full integrity?" If the answer is yes, then do your best to make right on what you know you could have done better.

When we're unclear about how our own issues influence our relationships we're likely to do unintentional damage. 

When we're unconscious of our unresolved feelings about our past, we're more likely to blame, shame and guilt others when
those unresolved feelings are triggered. It's only when we're aware of
our contributions to the state of our relationships and able to stay in
our integrity that we can create environments in which our relationships
can thrive.