Changing our attitudes and feelings in the moment isn't as difficult
as most think. Unfortunately, not many people know how to do this. When
we become anxious or overwhelmed or guilt weighs us down, our feelings
can quickly overtake us; impairing our judgment and blocking us from
taking positive action. The anxiety can become so crushing that it turns
into depression. Change requires effort, but i
t is simple. Here are some things I've learned over the years that get me quickly back to life:
€ Stop what you are doing to deal with it now.
Even if you are busy, drop what you are doing to take care of what you are going through. Conference calls can be postponed for a few minutes, the phone, family, and pets won't fall to pieces right away, and even a crying infant can be set down for just a moment so that you can gain perspective. Unless someone is in danger of dying, it can wait.
€ Remind yourself that it is alright to feel this way.
Do not allow the guilt to overtake you! Place post-it notes of motivational sayings, quotes, or scripture in your work area, kitchen, or office so you have a visual trigger. Accept that you must let yourself go through the physical or emotional reactions to what's weighing on you.
€ Vent to the universe.
Getting out all of those pent-up emotions, obligations, and worries is a must. Instead of immediately picking up the phone to text or call someone, turning on the TV to shut out the noise of your brain, or blasting your family with anger or frustration, go somewhere and let it all out. Allow yourself to say those things you don't want to say, such as life being unfair, how mad you are with someone, or how bad you feel about yourself. Cry if you need to cry, yell if you need to yell.
€ Separate yourself from the emotions.
Start by figuring out what you are feeling. Instead of thinking about them as your emotions, think of them as an emotion. Identifying with the feeling, or feelings, outside of yourself will help you externalize rather than internalizing. When we continue to internalize our emotions it can do us lasting harm, and keep us from getting over what's troubling us or moving on with our lives. Writing is a great way to externalize those feelings, by talking about it like it's happening to someone else. There are other ways that may be helpful, such as singing along to a song that fits the mood, playing over the scene in your mind, or creating a piece of art inspired by the feeling.
€ Ask for help.
This is one of those things we tend to do first rather than last. It's important to recognize that we do need help outside of ourselves, whether we are trying to deal with momentary anger or attempting a major lifestyle change. Ask God for help, confide in a trusted friend or family member, or seek advice through a counselor or mentor. This is the final step to allowing ourselves to feel and believe that we are important.
Going through this process does not necessarily mean that all your emotions are gone, or that you become instantly content with what's going on in your life. However, it does give you the opportunity and permission to feel it, realize it's normal, and deal with it, rather than condemning yourselves to more emotional tumult.
At first, it may take days or weeks to go through this process. But with time, and practice, it will go by faster and faster until you don't even remember all the steps. The more times you do it, your mind and body will become accustomed to the steps, so you can quickly get back to what you need to do.
t is simple. Here are some things I've learned over the years that get me quickly back to life:
€ Stop what you are doing to deal with it now.
Even if you are busy, drop what you are doing to take care of what you are going through. Conference calls can be postponed for a few minutes, the phone, family, and pets won't fall to pieces right away, and even a crying infant can be set down for just a moment so that you can gain perspective. Unless someone is in danger of dying, it can wait.
€ Remind yourself that it is alright to feel this way.
Do not allow the guilt to overtake you! Place post-it notes of motivational sayings, quotes, or scripture in your work area, kitchen, or office so you have a visual trigger. Accept that you must let yourself go through the physical or emotional reactions to what's weighing on you.
€ Vent to the universe.
Getting out all of those pent-up emotions, obligations, and worries is a must. Instead of immediately picking up the phone to text or call someone, turning on the TV to shut out the noise of your brain, or blasting your family with anger or frustration, go somewhere and let it all out. Allow yourself to say those things you don't want to say, such as life being unfair, how mad you are with someone, or how bad you feel about yourself. Cry if you need to cry, yell if you need to yell.
€ Separate yourself from the emotions.
Start by figuring out what you are feeling. Instead of thinking about them as your emotions, think of them as an emotion. Identifying with the feeling, or feelings, outside of yourself will help you externalize rather than internalizing. When we continue to internalize our emotions it can do us lasting harm, and keep us from getting over what's troubling us or moving on with our lives. Writing is a great way to externalize those feelings, by talking about it like it's happening to someone else. There are other ways that may be helpful, such as singing along to a song that fits the mood, playing over the scene in your mind, or creating a piece of art inspired by the feeling.
€ Ask for help.
This is one of those things we tend to do first rather than last. It's important to recognize that we do need help outside of ourselves, whether we are trying to deal with momentary anger or attempting a major lifestyle change. Ask God for help, confide in a trusted friend or family member, or seek advice through a counselor or mentor. This is the final step to allowing ourselves to feel and believe that we are important.
Going through this process does not necessarily mean that all your emotions are gone, or that you become instantly content with what's going on in your life. However, it does give you the opportunity and permission to feel it, realize it's normal, and deal with it, rather than condemning yourselves to more emotional tumult.
At first, it may take days or weeks to go through this process. But with time, and practice, it will go by faster and faster until you don't even remember all the steps. The more times you do it, your mind and body will become accustomed to the steps, so you can quickly get back to what you need to do.
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