There is a hilarious movement in this country trying to tell you that
you NEED to be in a relationship with someone. That somehow that is
more normal than not being in a relationship. There is an unspoken
emphasis on starting a family and finding a soul mate that has been in
place since the fifties. What is odd is every other ideal since then has
evolved, yet we still truly believe and fall victim to that.The idea
that we cannot love ourselves or define ourselves unless we have someone
next to us, doing it for us. That we cannot face tragedies or troubles
in life and make it through them solely on the strength of ours
elves. But why is it an ideal that existed in a long dead time is still forced on us? Why are people who choose to be single still looked at as strange? I can tell you being one of them that a GREAT many of my friends on the other side of the fence tell me how unhappy they are.
I say we live in a new age. An age where we should be allowed to be somewhat selfish, and being single makes that a hugely enjoyable act. Some may be single unwillingly, but this is me raising a glass to the people who are single by choice, and know just how much fun that can be.
1. Times Have Changed
I am not here to insult love or relationships. Love is pretty magical when it works, and for those who want that and find that and experience that daily, I tip my hat to you. May it last forever (though we all know how rarely that actually occurs). But why is it that starting a family and being in love seems normal, and being by one's self seems strange? It is completely true, the old adage that you cannot love someone until you love yourself, so let me ask: How do you learn to love yourself if you never spend any time alone with you? I want you to think that over for a moment. Truth is, you don't.
2. Not Answering To Anyone
Love, if you do it right, is about factoring someone in to every single decision you make. This also means, when the love is true, putting yourself last. As wonderful and altruistic and selfless as that is, are the people who do that always happy? When did we learn that doing things for OURSELVES was bad? When were we taught to be punished for rewarding ourselves our doing something primal and enjoyable? We must have been programmed to feel that way, because no one knows how to be happy anymore, and the lack of doing anything to work towards that is not going to change that.
3. The Art Of Casual Sex
Despite WHATEVER you have been taught to the opposite, two consenting adults can have casual sex. The act of sex without love or a relationship exists, and guess what? Even though people equate being single with celibacy, such is not the case. If you are an adult and an honest, open one, you will find other souls like you who may have no interest in the drama of a relationship, but know how beneficial sex is to one's life. This opens the door for the €but love makes sex better€ argument, which also opens the door for €love without sex leads to life without drama€, so we could probably back and forth this hours. Remember, this is not the 50's. You want to lock yourself down, that is your prerogative. But a LOT of things have changed. Shake the shackles of those ideals if it means you will be happier.
4. Is It Lonely?
Here's the thing. Being single is a lonely life if you choose it to be. Yes, you can do nothing with nobody if that is what you want, but you can also do (and this is my entire point here) whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want. Pop culture may try to trick you into thinking single people are miserable, but do they ever poll he people who are willingly single? The people who say no to relationships because they choose to? The people who actually like the freedom it buys them and how it allows them more time to get to know who they REALLY are without defining themselves by someone else?
Well, let me tell you. It is pretty kick ass. I'm not going to lie. Remember, live the life you WANT. Not the life you have been conditioned to believe you are supposed to have.
elves. But why is it an ideal that existed in a long dead time is still forced on us? Why are people who choose to be single still looked at as strange? I can tell you being one of them that a GREAT many of my friends on the other side of the fence tell me how unhappy they are.
I say we live in a new age. An age where we should be allowed to be somewhat selfish, and being single makes that a hugely enjoyable act. Some may be single unwillingly, but this is me raising a glass to the people who are single by choice, and know just how much fun that can be.
1. Times Have Changed
I am not here to insult love or relationships. Love is pretty magical when it works, and for those who want that and find that and experience that daily, I tip my hat to you. May it last forever (though we all know how rarely that actually occurs). But why is it that starting a family and being in love seems normal, and being by one's self seems strange? It is completely true, the old adage that you cannot love someone until you love yourself, so let me ask: How do you learn to love yourself if you never spend any time alone with you? I want you to think that over for a moment. Truth is, you don't.
2. Not Answering To Anyone
Love, if you do it right, is about factoring someone in to every single decision you make. This also means, when the love is true, putting yourself last. As wonderful and altruistic and selfless as that is, are the people who do that always happy? When did we learn that doing things for OURSELVES was bad? When were we taught to be punished for rewarding ourselves our doing something primal and enjoyable? We must have been programmed to feel that way, because no one knows how to be happy anymore, and the lack of doing anything to work towards that is not going to change that.
3. The Art Of Casual Sex
Despite WHATEVER you have been taught to the opposite, two consenting adults can have casual sex. The act of sex without love or a relationship exists, and guess what? Even though people equate being single with celibacy, such is not the case. If you are an adult and an honest, open one, you will find other souls like you who may have no interest in the drama of a relationship, but know how beneficial sex is to one's life. This opens the door for the €but love makes sex better€ argument, which also opens the door for €love without sex leads to life without drama€, so we could probably back and forth this hours. Remember, this is not the 50's. You want to lock yourself down, that is your prerogative. But a LOT of things have changed. Shake the shackles of those ideals if it means you will be happier.
4. Is It Lonely?
Here's the thing. Being single is a lonely life if you choose it to be. Yes, you can do nothing with nobody if that is what you want, but you can also do (and this is my entire point here) whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want. Pop culture may try to trick you into thinking single people are miserable, but do they ever poll he people who are willingly single? The people who say no to relationships because they choose to? The people who actually like the freedom it buys them and how it allows them more time to get to know who they REALLY are without defining themselves by someone else?
Well, let me tell you. It is pretty kick ass. I'm not going to lie. Remember, live the life you WANT. Not the life you have been conditioned to believe you are supposed to have.
Comments
Post a Comment